My Top Ten Favorite Status Updates

One of my favorite things about facebook, and the reason that facebook tends to be ever so distracting from reality, is the constant bombardment of status updates.  Some of our friends take it even farther and add a dash of humor, making it seem worthwhile to be wasting time in our facebook adventures.  With that being said, below are the top ten status updates that I have come across.  Please feel free to post your favorites in the comments section!

1.  TEIAM - Problem solved.

2.  I just read the list of "Top 100 Things To Do Before You Die."  I was pretty surprised that "yell for help" wasn't on the list.

3.  What do we want?  PROCRASTINATION!  When do we want it?  ...Next week.

4.  Joe never questions authority, he annoys authority.  More effect, less effort.

5.  I have an oven with a 'stop time' button.  It's probably meant to be a 'stop timer' button, but I don't touch it, just in case.

6.  People reckon that I'm too patronizing (that means that I treat them as if they're stupid).

7.  I got out of jury duty today by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy..."

8.  Sue would rather check her facebook than face her checkbook...

9.  Joe says that there is nothing to fear except fear itself...and concrete.  Definitely concrete.

10.  If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

There you have it!  Those are the ten best status updates that I have seen in a while on my facebook.  What are your favorites?  Please post them in the comments below!